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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Dr. Bitz Ranks Every Television Series Ever...Sorta (Part 6)

Well, I'm still slogging through my ranking of television series. The bad news? More series that are fair to midland. The good news? We're dangerously close to television shows I'd actually recommend! (And maybe series you've heard of.) Actually, I'm fairly confident there's a couple series here people have heard of.  As always, if you're unfamiliar with these posts, check out the introduction here.

35. The Tomorrow People: A bunch of kids are the next stage in human evolution...or maybe they're aliens? I kind of forget. But they have telepathic powers and can teleport. So that's cool.

They use their powers to thwart a government agency trying to experiment on them, an ancient Egyptian evil and...a breakfast cereal mogul hell bent on controlling the weather in order to wipe out his competitor's crops?
Whatever.
I suppose I should note that this series has had multiple versions and the one I saw (in the 90's on Nickelodeon) was the second iteration of the series...and apparently quite different than the original. But I thought it was a smart sci-fi show geared towards young teenagers. I personally would've liked some more action...but that's the case for most shows I watch.

34. Tales from the Crypt: This type of a show is hard to rank since every episode is an entirely different story. So the show, by its nature, can be inconsistent. But the stories were usually engrossing and would have a nice twist ending. Basically, it's the Twilight Zone of the 90's...just more horror focused. My only real complaint is I only watched it in syndication on Fox (since I wasn't one of those cake eaters that had HBO). So, as far as I was concerned, every episode I watched was missing copious amounts of nudity that was surely in the unedited version. This knowledge weighed on me and certainly affected my enjoyment. But, despite that, it was good enough that I would still watch every week.


33. Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: You know, super heroes weren't always as popular as they are today. But, for whatever reason, there was always room for Superman. I'm have no idea why Superman had gained some sort of "legitimacy" that other superheroes did not have (until recently). Mainstream America always seemed willing to accept him. (Although Batman has made a surge in the 00s thanks to Christopher Nolan.)
All that has little to do with Lois and Clark aside from the fact that it was the Superman show of the 90's. And it was fairly enjoyable. It was the 90's so it was fairly episodic but, even so, it ended up better than Smallville. (Although, that's a bar even un-supermen can leap in a single bound.) And at least this show wasn't afraid of saying the name "Superman."
On a side note, one of the most exciting points in my life was when I learned that Teri Hatcher had been naked in some movies before more "legitimate" projects like this show. I couldn't wait until I was old enough to obtain said movies. I am old enough now yet I have never sought those movies out. 14 year-old-me would slap me if he could.
On another side note, I was googling Teri Hatcher and one of the google auto fill choices was Teri Hatcher Feet...the internet is weird.

32. Sorcerer Hunters: If I went by the first 75% of this series it would be disqualified because it was essentially a straight up comedy (set in a fantasy land about a bunch of, you guessed it, sorcerer hunters). But anime seems to have difficulty staying a pure comedy, especially for mashups of comedy and sci-fi or comedy and fantasy. Anyway, the final few episodes was straight up drama with zero laughs.
Still, this series starts off pretty funny and the drama at the end is interesting. This series is a fun, if uneven, ride.

31. Hercules: The Legendary Journeys: When I watched this show I usually wondered if Ancient Greece was as hedonistic as this show portrayed it to be. There were always hot, scantily clad women throwing themselves at Hercules. Frankly, I started think that maybe Hercules should be thanking Hera for offing his wife enabling him to become a swinging bachelor. (Speaking of Hera, why is it you never got to see her? It was like she was Doctor Claw or something.)
Anyway, I'm probably exaggerating the amount of poon Hercules encountered on his "legendary journeys" but it's not my fault, I have selective memory. The point that I'm getting at is, as a teen, I often wondered why women were so much more prudish presently then they were in ancient Greece. I think I ended up blaming Jesus (instead of, you know, me not looking like Kevin Sorbo).
But I digress. This show never reached the cultural zeitgeist Xena did (which I did watch some of but not enough to rank it) but this show did introduce her.
It was going to be hard for me not to like this show. I'm a sucker for mythology, even in this bastardized form. And heck, compared to Disney's Hercules this show might as well have been a Greek mythology documentary.
Hercules kind of went off the rails when it had odd fourth wall breaking episodes where Hercules attended the creative meetings of the show's writers and producers and when Hercules traveled to different lands and dealt with non-Greek Gods. But overall, Hercules was fun, light hearted and I certainly don't regret watching it.


Up next time: Another Lost clone, a very short lived television series and, of course, more anime.

5 comments:

Teebore said...

They use their powers to thwart a government agency trying to experiment on them, an ancient Egyptian evil and...a breakfast cereal mogul hell bent on controlling the weather in order to wipe out his competitor's crops

I had never heard of this show, but now I totally want to watch it, even though I know it won't be anywhere as good as that premise suggests.

So, as far as I was concerned, every episode I watched was missing copious amounts of nudity that was surely in the unedited version.

I remember, whenever HBO would have a free preview or something, being disappointed that it aired shows WITHOUT nudity. Ah, to be a pre-internet teen...

I'm have no idea why Superman had gained some sort of "legitimacy" that other superheroes did not have (until recently).

At the risk of going all comic book nerd on you, I think it has something to do with Superman's universality (he can be read as Moses, or Jesus, or an immigrant, or just a good old-fashioned patriotic butt kicker) and his extreme popularity back in the day, which led to things like radio shows, cartoons and TV, which put his foot in the pop culture door early, such that nowadays, even though he's less popular that some other characters, the pop culture world is just used to some kind of Superman show/movie/etc. being around, since its been that way for decades.

I am old enough now yet I have never sought those movies out. 14 year-old-me would slap me if he could.

Let's just say I never want to meet 14-year-old me in a dark alley. Dude would mess up with his righteous fury. Also, Teri Hatcher was pretty hot.

Somehow, despite being a massive nerd for Greek mythology and a big genre TV fan, I've never seen a single episode of Hercules (or Xena for that matter). I think by the time I learned about the shows, they were well into their runs, so of course, I couldn't just hop in randomly. It's one of those things I should probably check out someday, cuz I'd probably really like it.

Also, as a Minnesotan, I'm appalled that you didn't honor the oath of all Minnesotans to point out all celebrity connections to the state, no matter how minor, by mentioning that Kevin Sorbo is a Minnesota native.

Sarah Ahiers said...

Also, as a Minnesotan, I'm appalled that you didn't honor the oath of all Minnesotans to point out all celebrity connections to the state, no matter how minor, by mentioning that Kevin Sorbo is a Minnesota native.


Seconded.

I've actually seen all of these shows, except the tomorrow people, which i haven't even heard of. Though i haven't seen all that much Hercules (even less of xena). I never undestood the xena love. Outside of the sexy lucy lawless, i mean. I just never really liked her as a character.
Still, Hercules Xena crossovers (once Xena had broken out on her own) were the best

Pete said...

IIRC, The Tomorrow People (original series) was on ITV - the UK's first commercial channel - in the 1970s: but no I haven't seen it either. I think it had a young Nicholas Lyndhurst, who became Rodney in the long-running BBC sitcom Only Fools & Horses.

Dr. Bitz said...

@Teebore: "Also, as a Minnesotan, I'm appalled that you didn't honor the oath of all Minnesotans to point out all celebrity connections to the state, no matter how minor, by mentioning that Kevin Sorbo is a Minnesota native."

Well, by mentioning it aren't I implying that that sort of minutia is the only thing Minnesota has going for it? Wouldn't it be in Minnesota's best interest to act like such things are not big deals?

@Sarah: "I've actually seen all of these shows, except the tomorrow people,"

See, when other kids were out socializing, I was at home watching a lot of random shows on Nickelodeon....like The Tomorrow People, Hey Dude, Salute Your Shorts and Fifteen.

@Pete: Thanks for the info!

Teebore said...

Wouldn't it be in Minnesota's best interest to act like such things are not big deals?

You'd think so, but no, it doesn't work that way. Shout it from the rafters!